It's been over a month since I've been back from yoga camp. It's incredible how relative time can seem -- I don't know where the time went even - flew by, actually, but I the same time I was mindfully watching each moment go buy, almost in slow motion. I know I've said it before and there are only so many ways of saying it but it's how it feels - both in the moment and in looking back.
It's also been over a month since I started teaching. And I thought I'd bring some observations to that, especially before the feelings disappear. It's like being in a new relationship. There are butterflies before your 'date', you're smitten, you think about 'class' all the time. Your friends are happy for you. Others might be sick of hearing about it. You're able to survive on less sleep. You're going through the good times in your head over and over again and replay with insecurity all the dbouts. And there's also judgment, nerves, and uncertainty, but these lessen with time and are pale in comparison to the good feelings.
Aside from my very first class, I have to say I've been a lot calmer than I thought I'd be. More confident. More trusting of the path and the journey. But I've also been up against a lot of observations and questions that I can't answer. And at first that troubled me because I like solutions. I like resolution. I like me a Sudoku puzzle to solve. But I've quickly realized that these questions aren't solvable puzzles. They're what experience and time will bring - and I'm trusting that. The changes may happen without even having an epiphanous aha moment. It will just click. I'm looking forward to that. Just like I'm really enjoying not being in my head. ME! I'm enjoying the not thinking part and feeling and observing and being really present moments. Amazing. Totally amazing.
I know what comes the most naturally to me. And interestingly they're linked to running. I'm able to ground myself. I'm able to visualize the beginning, middle and end. I'm a good pacer. I can provide modifications and adjust on different body types, with different injuries, and quirks and idiosyncrasies. And I also know what I have to work on - tone, variety, finding me in the humour and creativity, being more intuitive, not being afraid to use my power/strength. So I look forward to continuing teaching, continuing my own learning and development, and riding the waves.
PS - last night was my first class taught where I felt FULLY like the teacher. No longer an imposter. Own it ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment